Fallen Trees

As I type out this blog post, I can still hear loud cracks from trees splitting apart outside.  I woke up this morning to find that the world was covered in white.  Snow! In October?! I only enjoyed the snow for a few more hours before the cracking started.  Branches were falling all over the place, it was goddamn terrifying.  Since the leaves haven't even fallen off yet, all the snow was weighing down the branches, causing them to snap.  In the afternoon I got word of something awful that had happened.  Emma's sister's friend's older brother was killed in a car accident that involved a huge tree branch falling on his car.  He has a two month old baby.  I don't know him, but I was shocked by the news.  My mind has a lot of trouble dealing with death.  I feel like i'm in denial, but that's a topic for another day.  Anyway, I don't know whether it's better or worse that he has a baby.  He'll have to grow up without a father, but maybe it would make him (the father) happy that he was able to leave behind this imprint.  Regardless, me and mom agreed on one thing: a lot of bad things are happening this year.

Not much else happened today.  I spent the bulk of the day writing essays and stuffing my face with candy.  I also finished writing an artist statement and all the descriptions for my portfolio.  But still 3 essays left to write! Ugh!  The deadline is only 2 days away...

Reppin' the senior shirts

Lets back up to friday.  It was class pride day!  Almost all of the seniors wore the shirt that said "Senio12s Till the World Ends..." I skipped the whole afternoon (sooooo badass) to go to the art room and finish up some prints so I could pick one for my portfolio.  I decided on the red and black one to submit for sure.  But lmao look at how many I have! And that's only half of them.  After school Victor and dan took me to get some food before heading over to dan's for a 15 minute jam session.  I hadn't touched a bass for god knows how long, but it came back fairly quickly.  Dan was even surprised at how not-awful I was and showed it.  It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside :) not really, but it did feel good to get complimented.  We jammed on The Adventures of Rain Dance Maggie and an original by dan.  It felt amazing to be with the band again.  I really missed playing bass.  After 15 minutes, it was already 4:40 and victor had to speed me home so I could get ready for the football game that night....we had to be at the school by 4:50 lmao.  I also still had to go pick miller up since he had asked me for a ride the day before.

When victor dropped me off, I sprinted into my house like a mad woman, grabbed my dinkles and anything else that crossed my mind and was in my car 4 minutes later speeding to miller's.  As always, I was late, and he was semi freaking out.  But hey he should know by now that I am never on time.  Like come on, what do you expect?  On a side note, he smelled really nice.  Anyway, I digress.  So we got to the school about 12 minutes after we were supposed to.  On the bus ride there, miller wanted me to sit next to him, so I did and we played "guess the song".  He only has 72 songs on his ipod.  That was not okay with me at all. I was like WTF O:ILSEJrkJSHdfjdkfjgkj.  They were also all pop/hiphop/rap smh.  If he lets me I am going to change that.  Anyway, the game was good, our football team kicked their ass.  They had a really small marching band, but they were really legit.  After the show while we were getting food, their (only) bass drummer chatted me and victor up.  When we told him that everyone in his band left, he told me to friend him on facebook.  Then he was like "hell you probably won't, so here" and handed me his phone.  Being the retard I am, I couldn't figure out how it worked (my phone is prehistoric) so victor tried and succeeded in deleting one of his contacts lmao.  Anyway, victor eventually just gave him 7 digits of his number and gave the phone back.  Too bad I guess, but then again I wasn't very eager to have this guy friend me anyway.  He was chill though...we talked about anime lmao lmao.  Okay moving on to a less nerdy topic.  So last night, Miller probably put his arm around me like 4 times?  Uhhh hello?  Trying not to overthink it, but I can't!  I am a filthy cougar! He can't fuel my cougarness!  It is forbidden!! Okay, maybe I am completely over reacting, but still.  It's just so weird since it's a 2 year age difference and I'm the girl.  But it felt nice, just for the record (not the age difference, the arm-putting-around)  :) He sat across form me on the bus ride home, and we sat with our legs crossing over the aisle.  It was kind of adorable in a filthy-cougar-esque way.  This really shouldn't bother me so much, but it does.  Why am I wasting time worrying about this when I should be writing college essays ? Holy crap I should stop blogging too.  Hopefully tomorrow will be a productive essay day.  If it isn't, well then i'm thoroughly screwed. Okay goodnight!

Amazing jumping abilities.

College ?

What's college? Oh right, that thing i'm supposed to be applying to.
The deadline is in a couple of days and i still have to put together my portfolio, write 4 more essays, edit the other 5 essays, finish filling in my achievements (uh do i have any??), and somehow fit a marching band competition and a football game in there.  Lets not forget mischief night and halloween too....

Surprisingly though, I'm not freaking out.  I think i'm naturally stressed out, but it's creepy how calm i'm being.  Or maybe I'm in shock. Lol! Okay not funny.

This week has been a blur! My MIT interview monday went well :) I mean, it wasn't absolutely fantastic, but I was pretty normal and the guy hopefully got the impression that i'm not an antisocial creep.  I left band practice early and got to the library 20 minutes before I was supposed to!  It might've been the first time in my life I've been early.  After we met and introduced ourselves, my interviewer led me into a tiny white room with two chairs.  Lmao, interrogation room much?  I was so goddamn nervous.  Like come on, why couldn't we meet in Starbucks or somewhere else less intimidating?  But the guy was chill and I loosened up pretty fast.  The first thing he said was a joke about dead bodies in his house lmao and i didn't register the joke for 10 seconds so it got awkward pretty fast.  I hope he didn't think I thought he was being serious.  He kept telling me about his two daughters, and at the end told me he was going to write a good report :) Yay !  Still getting rejected though.  I was really touched at how supportive my friends were:  Sarah and Emma both texted me right before for good luck and afterward Ryan and Miller both asked me about how it went.  Actually Miller just said "so you're getting into MIT?" But i'll count it :) Speaking of R and M, they have matching boxers lmao.  Ryans pants fell off during the monday practice but sadly i wasn't there to witness it.  He probably looked like a fool with his pants on the ground. (hope you got the reference).

Artsy shot of cutting the linoleum

These past few weeks have been a scramble, trying to finish the multi-color linoleum block print in time for my portfolio!  (In case you don't know what it is, it's basically this hard rubbery stuff that I carve into, ink, and press onto paper using a press lol.  For a multicolor one, you cut, print the light color, cut alot more, print the medium color, cut even more, and finally print the darkest color.) I've been working on this goddamn thing since the first day of school wtf.  On the brightside, I was actually super productive today and almost finished uploading my portfolio!  After school I stayed in the art room for about 3 hours: printing and taking pictures.  Tomorrow I plan on skipping the last four periods to get these prints done!

The cut plate after I finished scrubbing the blue off 

Also, afterwards while I was walking to my car I decided to go see the senior hallway since tomorrow is class pride day (seniors are green).  When i walked down our hallway people were decorating it and saying how shitty it looks and how everyone's going to complain tomorrow etc etc.  I awkwardly just walked past the 5 people working and walked through the rain to my car.  After i reached it, I felt kind of bad that I didn't offer to help, so i put my stuff in the car and walked back to help out.  See, it's awkward because I barely know these 5 girls but i offered to help, and they seemed relieved to have another person decorate.  I dragged a huge piece of paper to the art wing and painted SENIO'12S in giant black letters.  My hand was drenched in black paint by the end of it since I just dipped the brush straight into the jug of black.  Now I am rambling, so i'll stop.  But anyway, I came home and worked on my portfolio which is practically done! Just have to finish that one print now! Ahhhh!! [ Here ] is my mostly finished portfolio!

3/15 of my babies hanging to dry !

Lol.

Not much else happened this week except Kaylin puking all over me, the computer chair, and the carpet yesterday.  I scrubbed the carpet for atleast 45 minutes with no success. -_- It smelled so awful ugh.  Also I've gotten weirdly closer to you-know-who, but it is still awkward when we are alone.  In other news, Ryan got a girlfriend! lol! Once she texted him "jajaja" and he asked me what it meant.  I told him that's a spanish "hahaha".....and he goes "OMG i get it! I forgot she was spanish!"  His blondness makes me want to punch myself in the face.  Repeatedly.  Oh and I tried to somehow get a little mp3 player on here so all you fans can listen to the song I'm currently obsessed with but I'm dumb and couldn't figure it out, so listen to The Adventures of Rain Dance Maggie [ here ] .  I've got a long day ahead of me, better go work on that common app essay. -_- Football game tomorrow night ! Competition saturday!! Ahh!! Hmm..I'll probably work on my essay during chem tomorrow then haha.  Good night !!

Rumor Has It

It's a song by Adele haha, if anyone was wondering.  The actual song isn't that great, but that one stupid line is stuck in my head 24/7.  Seriously, ask my basses, they probably want to punch me in the face whenever they hear it...which is every 5 seconds.  Anyway, this week was jam packed holy shit.  Monday after school I tutored Jasmin for an hour, then had marching band. Tuesday I tutored Neil for... 2 hours?? wtf ?!?  Wednesday I tutored Jasmin again for an hour, then had marching band. and Thursday I tutored Neil for an hour and a half.  Got paid $40 for 3.5 hours with Neil.  Like I know that's somewhat decent, but come on lady.  They are looaadded, it couldn't hurt to pay me a little more, could it?  I plan on cutting down the time though, staying 2 hours for a 7th grader is freaking crazy.  Especially when i'm busy with college stuff.  School wise I'm busy too.  Mostly just scrambling to finish my linoleum block prints that i've been working on for almost 2 months !! Jesus christ! I only have a week until i need them for my portfolio !  So last week I skipped a couple classes to work on it in the art room lol.  Mr. V was thoroughly amused (probably because he thinks i'm a nerd who never skips...which i am).  My math teacher found out that i skipped though lolol...that was an awkward confrontation.  This week is the last week before early action apps are due!  So i've got a lot of work ahead of me.  Somehow I'll get out of it with my sanity still intact. Maybe.  

With the Birthday Boy! (and Mara)

Friday was a great stress-reliever though! It was Emma's birthday ! Actually, at first it was pretty goddamn stressful.  Right after school I scrambled to get Victor's and Emma's birthday presents.  Drove dan to guitar center and we decided on a double bass pedal for victor.  He's been obsessing over one for god knows how long, so we decided to finally get him one.  The pedal was pretty expensive even with 5 people paying for it, but we got it anyway (and he loved it ^_^).  Right after I sped home, mara picked me up so we could go shopping for Emma's present.  We wanted to get her something womanly like heels or a tiffany necklace but we thought shoes could be risky, and the jewelry was only in triple digits.  Lol we walked out of that store with a new perception of life.  Not really, but we finally decided on some (fancy expensive) makeup from Sephora's.  Emma ended up really liking it too!  All in all, a very successful round of gift giving.  Friday night my mom got home from China!  After dinner with the fam, I went out bowling with a bunch of people in celebration of the two adults!  I can't believe they are both 18 now.  

Bowling was really fun :) There was a tiny bit of drama with Sam and Alex being too PDA and Abby being a little antisocial/angry but besides for that, it rocked.  The theme was to dress weirdly. lmao.  Half the people did it, half of them didn't.  So i went for a cross in between with my feather earrings, striped leggings with shorts, and baggy T that said "Stay Alive" (Got it in china, which explains the text)  Here's us reppin' our so-high-it-should-be-illegal ponytails.  Of course emma would be on the ground...that's where she belongs! Just kidding, but she does spend an awful lot of time down there....again, i am kidding!  Haha happy 18th!! After the party, gabe drove me, thomas, brian, and sarah home.  I can't really remember if we talked about anything.  I was probably too tired from the 2 hours of sleep I got thursday night lmao.

Saturday!  Had to actually wake up early because Justin and Emma were coming over at 9 to make goodiebags for our sections.  Made them, went to the school, changed, got on busses, arrived at Scummit for the foot ball game, got annihilated, went back to the school, ate pizza, got back on the busses for our night competition!  AKA a whole entire day of marching band.  Notice how i'm trying to condense everything in this paragraph since it's 1:25 and i want to go to sleep.  So anyway, I sat with victor at the back of the bus, which was fun i guess, but it was so isolated from my section.  I kind of liked talking with everyone last week better than listening to victor tell me about his weed adventures (although they were extremely amusing haha).  While we were warming up, Itkor called over the other drumline that he works with (he is cheating on us!!!) and we all played the warmups together.  It was so weird having another bass drum playing the exact same thing as me.  Also he was behind me, so whenever he played, the back of my neck got hit with a puff of air from the stupid hole on his drum.  Their bass 2 was also the section leader and his name was ryan, weird huh?  I have decided that we will become best friends if i ever see him again in my life.  Anyway, the actual competition was a little boring since no one was actually pumped.  We still performed well though except for a couple of time-tears in the show :(

After the show, the drumline went to meet up with all of the other drumlines in the competition and formed this super conglomeration of drums.  Then we all marched out together playing the same cadence.  It was magical.  There were 10 drumlines there.  Aka about 50 basses. and 2389047 snares/quints.  Also there were some people in it who just had triangles or tambourines (i found this very funny).  Look i overachieved and even included a video in here! Fancy, huh?  The actual experience was sick, but it was also sort of boring because me and all the people around me were anti-social. Awkward to the max.  Anyway, we went home and then headed out to the Prestige Diner for dinner and stayed until 1 am haha.  Steve asked us to go play ultimate frisbee in the dark but I was falling asleep so I sent Miller and Mike home, and then went home and passed out. 

Not much happened today at all.  Mostly just procrastinated on anything and everything I need to do with my life.  But something that did happen? ....my MIT interviewer emailed me and said I need to do the interview tomorrow !!!!! AHHH !!  I am so nervous! I also have to tutor Jasmin after school and go to marching band for about an hour before I leave for the interview.  Oh god.  Good news is Jasmin got a 100 on her last physics quiz ! I am so proud of her! :) 

Okay time to sleep so my interviewer doesn't think i'm retarded when I can't string sentences together tomorrow.  Wish me luck!  Good night !

Mirrors & Masks

It's 12:41 am on sunday, so I want to make this post as short as possible.  Knowing me, I'll probably end up writing until 2 and screw myself over for tomorrow.  Regardless, here I go:

A lot of stuff happened this week.  Thought I completely bombed a chem test, managed to get away with a 81 on it.  Jesus christ when I saw that beautiful B- I almost cried tears of joy. No joke. (I am joking btw).  On wednesday my mom left for China to see my grandma who was in very bad condition and back in ICU.  I have more to say about this, but I will save it for tomorrow's post.  Today I just want to quickly give a run down of what I've been up to.  Friday after school we were supposed to have a football game, but it got cancelled.  Victor, Emma, Justin, Dan, and I went to BJs to buy bulk candy to make goodiebags for our sections!  We bought the materials and then went back to my house to make the bags.  They turned out really cute if i do say so myself :).  The clarinets made really encouraging bags like "Good luck! You have great marching technique" and "I always knew you were a winner!".  Me and victor made not-so encouraging bags for the drumline.  It mostly consisted of making fun of our section, that's how we show our love. I think. Anyway, friday night danielle called and invited us to go to Tito's Burrito's for dinner.  It's this little mexican place that has the best wings EVER.  So I peer pressured victor into getting "Wings of Death" with me.  The place has like 4 or 5 levels of spicy, and if you can't tell by the name, wings of death are the spiciest.  The cashier tried to warn us about it before we placed our order but we ignored him. "Guys, once i had sauce on my hand and accidently wiped my eye with it.  My eye was swollen for hours!!!" Lmao, unfortunate kid.  So we got our wings and victor took a bite.  Only two bites in, he starts crying, snotting, and sweating like a pig.  Not to mention he was bright red.  We were mildly concerned.  Then I took a bite and HOLY SHIT it hurt like a mother.  Jesus christ, but surprisingly I did not cry or sweat or start hyperventilating.  Dan and justin tried them too- Dan cried and justin just talked about how his grandfather is indian and tolerates spicy foods really well, hahaha.  In the end I ate 6, victor 4, dan 1, and justin 1.  I took those wings like a man :) not sure if that's something to be proud of though.  Hmm.

Saturday was our first marching band competition! Ahhh!! Woke up to sounds of construction on our windows.  Then freaked out because my band shirt was dirty so I chucked it in the washer.  When emma came to pick me up, my clothes were still wet, so I just grabbed them and hung them on her car after she parked.  We practiced, ate, changed, and loaded the buses.  I ended up sitting with Miller and Ryan in a three seater, aka getting completely squished in the middle.  Our section appreciated their beautiful goodie bags (sharpie on brown paper bags) except for markymark.  Lol victor drew him peeing in a puddle and it said "I'm marking my territory" oh name puns.  Ha speaking of which, on victor's I wrote "Yu Rock. Lead us to Victory!!" In case you were wondering, his last name is Yu. That's Y. Ha, more puns.  Anyway, we got to Metlife Stadium aka Giants Stadium and warmed up in the parking lot.  After ryan got called out for checking out some band's colorguard and we practiced some more, it was time for the show!! The stadium was gigantic holy crap. Just look at it.  The show went well, and itkor was so thrilled that the bassdrums played the sixtuplet run correctly that he threw Nobody into the air.  (Nobody is his creepy babydoll head that we rub for good luck at competitions. Get it? Since it has no body. Ha.) We ended up getting second place overall and best percussion!  So suck it all you other drumlines.

Us performing at Metlife! Ahh! Ripped this pic from someone's facebook lol.

Bus ride home was kind of retarded, kind of fun.  We heard steve and sunny talking about how steve likes this Caroline VK so me miller and ryan made fun of him....miller ended up getting shoved under the bus seat and punched repeatedly. Lol, thank god I'm a girl and they can't do that to me.  For all you people out there, steve doesn't actually like her, he was joking.....but i slightly suspect otherwise.  We'll see.  Got home, unpacked, went to McDonald's for a nutritious dinner and mariana drove me home.  Along the way we made a pit-stop at the park because we saw emma's car there.  Turns out it was isabelle, danielle, pat, and fabian drinking some beers and rolling joints.  Emma thought they were going to get caught by the police so we left and went home.  According to mara, a lot of people have the wrong view of emma now because her friends smoke/drink so they think she does too. :\  I wonder what emma would think about that?

Mara modeling the mask :)

Sunday, today, I went to panera with my dad and kaykay.  My food was delicious as always (thanks greek salad) and i had to speed back for an appointment I had with some lady who wanted me to tutor her kid.  She is a crazy tiger mom.  Her son is in 7th grade and gets almost all A's, except for his current 89 in math.  Like are you crazy? He does not need a tutor!  Also she wants me to assign him extra essays and keep him ahead in math.  Oh man.  He's a cute kid though, kind of shy, awkward, but i decided I am going to be the best, most fun tutor ever! Let's see if that works out haha - my first day is on tuesday!  Tomorrow I get to tutor another girl in my school on physics.  Her name's Jasmine, and the little kid is Neil.  In case you were all wondering, cuz I'm sure you were.  

Me and Mara cam-whoring for the sole purpose of my blogging it.

Anyway, afterwards I sped over to mara's to help her out on a photo proj.  We dragged a mirror, a chair, and ourselves to a random soccer field for the shoot.  I put on masks and starred at myself angrily in the mirror while she clicked away.  Then I had to put on lipstick and go crazy smearing it on my face haha.  As a side note:  I don't think those masks are made for asian faces.  They dug into my eye sockets, oowww.  The shoot was pretty fun, except for the fact that I felt like i was failing at the whole angry self image thing.  I kept smiling and popping peace signs. Lol. Afterwards mara being the wonderful person she is, treated me to a vanilla bean frap at starbucks :) Yum.  Afterwards I came home and did absolutely nothing.  Aka I'm fucked and not getting into college, but I decided that I'm going to try and write some essays during school.  It's not like I pay attention during my classes anyway...maybe that's why my grades are dropping.  Interesting.  On another note, the game Words With Friends is taking over my life.  Holy crap I am addicted, I need help!  Haha, I knew it, it's 1:30 now.  Gotta go read 5 chapters of some Ernest Hemingway book for English class! Night!

Fly

Last friday my grandma fell into a coma.  My aunt almost wasn't able to get a hospital to check what was wrong with her, but my other aunt stepped in and called the hospital owner.  My grandma was quickly rushed to the emergency room and operated on.  They found out that her intestines were dead and had to cut out 2/3 of them.  Days passed and she didn't wake up.  On sunday morning I woke up to the news, by then it was monday in china.  It was the second time in my life I've seen my mom cry and to be honest I didn't know what to do, it was scary.  So I just tried to comfort her by folding laundry with her.  It sounds lame, but I'm really bad at expressing my emotions for others.  Ed says he understands what I mean.  That day I actually prayed for my grandma (I say actually because I am not religious at all).  Well, it wasn't exactly praying, it was more like trying to talk to her spirit.  A day or two later (I can't remember) we got an email saying that my grandma woke up!  She still can't talk, but atleast she's awake!  My mom's planning her trip back to china but she doesn't want to leave me during my college app process.  I told her that she's stupid.  Who the hell cares if I get into college right now? That's not what's most important!! What's important is that she go back to her mother!  I sort of got through to her, so she's leaving at the end of this month, beginning of next and will be gone for over a month.  I think she's taking kaykay with her too.  I think this'll be really good for my grandma, when we left at the end of summer, she seemed so depressed! I feel like she thinks she doesn't have anything to live for anymore.  My grandpa died 15 years ago and she's been living with my aunt.  In the past few years her health has been rapidly deteriorating after her fall.  I don't know what I can do to cheer her up.  Before we left I stayed up on the last night drawing her a portrait, something I used to do for her all the time when I was a little kid.  I was hoping it would somehow help her a little, but I feel like it didn't at all.  She loves my sister though, so I hope she can cheer her up.

************

Nothing new really happened this week.  Had marching band three times: two practices and one night game on thursday.  It was our first game under the lights (well technically the first was during band camp so we missed it).  Looking back, this week has been a blur.  I barely remember anything that's happened, so I'll just jump to today.  Woke up at 2, ate lunch, worked on college essays, and was let out of the house to get dinner at this asian fusion place.  I went with emma, mara, and victor and it was dellicciouuuss.  Lmao it took me like a billion years to finish my chicken curry.  My friends always make fun of me for being the slowest eater in the world.  The strawberry bubble tea I ordered was also amazing.   Being the uncultured idiot I am, I shot a bubble at victor (because he told me to) and completely missed.  Emma told me that I'm not supposed to do that, something I hear a lot from her haha.  I really need to grow up.  Speaking of Emma, we're texting at the moment about boys/relationships.  It's actually a pretty interesting conversation.  Basically we both have the same problem.  We always push away the boys that like us because we freak out and over analyze everything.  I just wish a normal guy would like me and I would like him back and we could link arms and skip into the sunset.  Ha.  But in all seriousness, I noticed lately how many couples have been popping up in school.  On my way to my first period class I literally get to watch at least 5 couples linger in the hallway getting it on.  Like honestly?  Maybe I'm just being a grumpy single girl.  There was a guy I liked in the summer, but 1. He goes to a different school and 2. He has a girlfriend.  Fml.  It wouldn't have worked out anyway because I felt like he was way out of my league, but hey I can dream.  One night he gave me a ride home, and it was the least awkward experience of my life.  Okay, that was an extreme exaggeration, but still, it felt pretty natural.  We joked around and there wasn't a single pause in the conversation.  Keep in mind that I barely knew him at all.  When he got to my house he even waited for me to go inside before driving away.  Aka what the end of a date should be like :) but I've moved on....to an underclassman ?! WTF is wrong with me?  He is 15! I am 17! No!  Okay, maybe I'm being too hard on myself.  Actually, I'm not even sure if i like him to begin with.  In groups of people he's nice and funny, but when it's just us it's awkward.  He'll wait for me so we can walk to the field together (marching band) but then he'll barely talk to me.  It's weird.  Also weird that I might possibly like him.  He's not extremely good looking, doesn't dress well, has weird posture, wtf is up with me? Crazy hormones? Check. Oh adolescence.  It would be nice to have a boyfriend though.  I don't want to sound like one of those desperate (housewives. lol sorry i had to) girls who just complain all the time about wanting a boyfriend just to have one, but it'd be nice to have a special someone to comfort me when I'm feeling like shit.  Someone I could always talk to and would double as a best friend.  In that sense, I'm jealous of gabe and sarah.  Maybe I just feel a little lonely. I've been reading a few blogs lately by girls from australia.  They're in their late teens or early twenties and have long term boyfriends that they spend time with all the time.  Oh jealousy.  When will I find someone?  And when I do, will I even let them get close to me?  Or will I push them away like always?  Can I please just shut off my brain and follow my heart for once?  Goddamnit. 

I didn't have any pictures for this post, so I took a crappy webcam selfie

Okay that paragraph was growing at an abnormal pace, so I'll just cut it there before I go overboard.  It's 2:11 am now so I really should go to bed.  Before I do though, I have a story.  Last night I was laying in bed, and started to get the feeling I was falling.  I thought to myself that I was finally falling asleep!  But soon it started getting really weird and I became numb all over.  Then my heart started to beat extremely fast and the mona lisa started flashing like crazy on the inside of my eyelids.  So I freaked out and opened my eyes to get rid of the image, but it was still flashing in my eyes.  The mona lisa morphed into gabe, then into sarah, then back to herself.  At this point I was scared shitless and thought I was having a heart attack, but I wasn't in any excruciating pain.  After what seemed like forever (it was probably only a minute or two) my heart finally slowed down and everything went back to normal.  But I was so so scared to go back to sleep.  I have no idea what was wrong with me! I also faintly remember some sort of constant clicking noise, but I may have imagined that.  I'm used to getting charlie horses and foot cramps while I sleep, but that was something completely new and unexpected.  Oh god.

Anyway, time to sleep! Good night! 

50/50

My dad walks into the room and asks me a hypothetical question: If you got into rutgers and harvard and I told you that I'd give you 1 million dollars to go to rutgers, which would you pick?

I automatically answer harvard.

My dad simply chuckles and says -- Oh I see, so you're basically saying that you can make more money if you go to harvard!

No actually, that is not at all what I'm saying thank you very much.  Are you kidding me?  Is that what he thinks the world is about? Pieces of paper?

When I asked him if he thought money was the most important thing, he confidently replied yes.  "In the end that is what it's all about"

Bullshit.
Money is important, but it isn't more important than life experience.  As cliche as this sounds: Money can't buy you happiness.  Maybe I just thought I would be happier at harvard than I would at rutgers (not saying it's a shitty school, fyi).  When I told my dad this, he merely laughed at me.  Nature vs. Nurture?  I think nature wins in this case.  In many cases actually.   Do I resemble my parents in any way?  Not really.  I have my dad's eyebrows, but that's beside the point.  You know what I mean.


Anyway, it's past 1, I should go to sleep soon if i want to get anything done on my college apps tomorrow.  Quick run through of the past few days:


Friday I did nothing, wasn't allowed out, big surprise.  Today we had the fall preview at school for the marching band. AKA wearing my drum from 11:30 - 4:00.  Fml my back is killing me.  Afterwards I went to McDonalds for a while and just hung out with some people.  Made dinner with emma, got annoyed at some people, but that's a story for a different day.  Or maybe just never, I'm too tired to type it all out now, and too lazy to type it later.  Let's just say it's frustrating being the third wheel.  Also tonight we went to go see a movie !  Well technically at first it was sold out, so we waited for the later showing by going to starbucks/panera.  That's us at starbucks, more specifically victor and dan getting it on.  Or victor getting it on and dan casually checking his texts.  The usual.  And hey, you can see me in the corner!  Exciting.  I apologize for the random picture, but I couldn't not put a picture in this post.  It just wouldn't feel right.  Anyway, split a delicious tomato & mozzarella panini with sam and we went back to the theater to watch 50/50.  It's the new movie with Joseph Gordan Levitt (he's gorgeous) and it was fantastic.  Most of the movie was subtle (except for when he has a 10 second breakdown), nothing too dramatic or anything.  It was all suggested, I loved it.  It's hard to explain, so you should go watch it for yourself!  After the movie I came home and was yelled at for 15 minutes straight.  It was great.  They yelled at me because I didn't tell them who I was going with (they didn't ask), I didn't tell them the movie time was changing, I killed time at panera instead of doing something productive (wtf), and I got home late (12) even though I don't have a set curfew.  Goddamnit, I am not a little kid.  I am a senior in high school.  Get it?  Apparently not.  I was creepily calm during the whole lecture though, I think I have the movie to thank for that; it fazed me out.  To be honest, I didn't give a shit the whole time my mom was yelling.

I was finally let out for one night (I have no idea how it happened though) so it's time to work my ass off tomorrow! :) They'll see.

Good night !